Music by SatisJaxon

2020 has been an interesting year for the lot of us, to say the least. Things have been changing, becoming more difficult. I’ve known many to give up on their pursuits, others to embrace the challenges, and some to lean into past dreams.

For me, it’s not that easy. I have so many interests and hobbies, I am always dabbling, doodling, or creating something. I can’t focus on one thing and it takes forever to share finished work. In light of this I will share four songs I have wrote.

What is to be shared is solely in lyrical form. I have melodies worked out for them all but not clean enough for me to share comfortably. Enjoy…

“Pity Me”

By SatisJaxon

No one can deny it,

Open your mouth, you’ll soon be lyin,

Bloody hands,

Withered Dreams,


takin all of me,

Drink it up,

All that poison,

Lap it up,

Til it’s all gone,

Bloody hands,

Withered Dreams,


beggin pity me,

I’m broken and alone,

Tortured and gone,

Words between familiars,

Become an awkward song,

I try to lose the past,

But nothing seems to last,

Even if I run,

There are scars I can’t get passed,

My efforts to be normal,

Become a struggle, more and more so,

As I’m fightin,

Every war,

For the prize,

Of my poor soul,

Every time I hear I’m sorry,

Nothing changed,

Nothing buried,

I feel a pain,

Turning in my gut,

Telling me,

to just give up…

On you,

Because I’m broken and alone,

Tortured and gone,

Words between familiars,

Become an awkward song,

I try to lose the past,

But nothing seems to last,

Even if I run,

There are scars I can’t get passed,

Now no one is denyin,

Open wide,

Still you’re lyin,

Bloody hands,

Withered Dreams,


Takin all of me,

Drink it up,

All that poison,

Lap it up,

Til it’s all gone,

Bloody hands,

Withered Dreams,

Pathetically beggin,

Pity me,

Because I’m broken and alone,

Tortured and gone,

Words between familiars,

Become an awkward song,

I try to lose the past,

But nothing seems to last,

Even when I’ve won,

You keep pulling me right back,


“Make Me Believe It”

By SatisJaxon

Make me believe it!


You say you wanna stay,

Through everything you run away,

It’s like this every,





you tell me ya gotta go,

you tell me you don’t know,

I can hear it in your,





Breathe it out,


You scream and shout,


Are often heavy,

Sometimes soft and deadly,


Breathe it out,


You scream and shout,


Often heavy,

Sometimes soft and deadly,



You say that you’re ok,

You say there’s a lot of pain,

But this shit,





I tell ya I gotta go,

This shits getting old,

Can’t get the time back that,





Breathe it out,


You scream and shout,


Are often heavy,

Sometimes soft and deadly,


Breathe it out,


You scream and shout,


Often heavy,

Sometimes soft and deadly,



Give all it takes,

Go set the stage,

Prove that you can,





You’re no longer just a drone,

No longer getting stoned,

And no longer gonna,




But Words,

Breathe it out,


You scream and shout,


Are often heavy,

Sometimes soft and deadly,


Breathe it out,


You scream and shout,


Often heavy,

Sometimes soft and deadly,



“Informing You”

By SatisJaxon

You’re defensive hittin hard try to justify,

Knowin full well every blow will make em cry,

Chills fill as you’re circling lies,

Frostin up ya heart While you’re tyin bows on forced goodbyes,

Reconsider all the feelings that you thought you felt,

As you’re raging causin’ pain grantin’ damage dealt,

Here you are draggin’ blood across the coals of hell,

Is it worth it, is it really what you tell yourself,

My heads spinnin’ I’ve gone crazy cause I’m thinkin,

Things can never get better while I’m forever waitin,

I gave you chances so its on you,

This is me informing you what I gotta do,

I should be forgivin’ you anyway,

But it’s up to me if you’re gonna stay,

There’s a new batch of kids lookin up to you,

And you’re sh***** on their feelings like you did me too,

Life’s a party get to livin’ fore you die,

Or you wind up eating dirt before you should’ve tried.

Don’t be hatin’ cause I worked my feelings into rhyme,

you should know that I’m leavin’ for the last time,

My heads spinnin’ I’ve gone crazy cause I’m thinkin,

Things can never get better while I’m forever waitin,

I gave you chances so its on you,

This is me informing you what I gotta do,

My heads spinnin’ I’ve gone crazy cause I’m thinkin,

Things can never get better while I’m forever waitin,

I gave you chances so its on you,

This is me informing you what I gotta do,


“Meant To Be”

By SatisJaxon


That the blood inflicted


Cannot remain unclaimed


By the misconceptions


You’ll never be the same


Shedding for tomorrow


They keep you in the dark


Allows the past to soften


Let yourself fall apart

We are not too common

Give it all to me

I will let you sink in

Girl, we are meant to be

Seemed to meet our match

It happened oh so fast

Our lives United, together fightin

Our love is meant to last


is the weight I carry


I also claimed


From the misconceptions


That we are both the same


Met when I was low


there can be light


For a life that can be


on With all my might

We are not too common

Give it all to me

I will let you sink in

Girl, we are meant to be

Seemed to meet our match

It happened oh so fast

Our lives United, together fightin

Our love is meant to last


hold You if you’re hurt


You when the pain cuts deep


You when you think you’re less than


You that you’re here with me


My hand when you’re afraid


in When your skies turn grey


will Catch all your tears


You and me, I’m here to stay

We are not too common

Give it all to me

I will let you sink in

Girl, we are meant to be

Seemed to meet our match

It happened oh so fast

Our lives United, together fightin

Our love is meant to last


All four of these are original works written by me. If there are any disputes or comments please share.

Remember to be kind, and stay fantastic,


Project Munchies

I have spent some time away from writing here. So I have decided to share some of my less formal writings starting with my first written comic book script.

This is a satirical look at society in whole as well as popular culture. The story is mature for graphic depiction, language, drug use and innuendos.

This is Project Munchies…

Project Munchies

PAGE ONE (six panels)

Panel 1. It is twilight, and we open to an average family of three, a mother, a father and an eight year old little girl.  The little girl is in a pink tutu.  They are in their Minivan coming home from the little girl’s theatrical performance of some kind.  The little girl is already asleep, centered between the parents in the middle bench seat of the van.  The father is driving, and the mother in the passenger seat as the family travels through a sub-urban community.  You are looking from the inside of the  windshield of the Minivan, centered between the mother and father with the little girl(in a booster seat) asleep.  Her head hangs uncomfortably while her body is held upright by her seat belt.  All whole family is in the frame, and the parents appear to be early to mid 30’s dressed as upper-middle class.

Caption: One night in Buddington Heights.

Mom: Do you wanna look through the pictures I took, when we get home?

Panel 2.  Inside the vehicle, the two parents continue to talk as you can see the child sleeping sound in the back seat.  This panel is solely the child shown in the back, while the parents dialog comes from off panel.

Dad: You know, I was at the program too…

Mom: I want you to tell me how they turned out, jerk.

Panel 3.  Close up on the dad snickering to himself as he continues the conversation.

Dad: I was kidding.  Of course I will help.

Panel 4.  The van coming around the bend, you see a crime scene in the foreground.  There were two police cruisers, lights spinning, one was parked in the drive way of a home and the other one was parked at the curb in front of the home.  One officer was at the door talking to a woman who is apparently crying; While, two other officers wrestle a hand cuffed man to the ground.


Mom: You know you have been getting

more and more, what..the…

Panel 5.  Close up on the hand cuffed man.  His eyes are highly irritated to the point where the redness has a faint glow to it, and he is foaming at the mouth.  The man looks crazed and angry, so much so you may even think he was rabid.


PAGE TWO (six panels)

Panel 1.  Short wide panel of the profile view of a medium size black SUV driving through suburban style housing.  Speed lines or looks like it is moving kinda quick.  It is almost dawn but still dark.

Caption: Elsewhere in Buddington Heights…

Through windshield:  Pull over, kill him right here.

Panel 2.  View through the windshield of two hit men and their captive.  Hit man 1 is driving he is dressed in a nicely tailored black suit.  He is also african-american, clean shaven, and head shaved smooth.  Hit man 2 in the passenger seat, wearing a suit comparable to the first guy.  He, however, is white with a fade(hair style), and modern square, rounded corner, framed prescription glasses.  Also clean shaven.  The captive in the back seat Is in some very nice casual wear as he sits in the middle, and is easily seen between the two front seats.  Aside from the casual wear you will also notice that he is wearing a black bag/hood over his head, and he is leaned forward with his hands pinned behind his back, as though he is hand cuffed.  The Hit man 2 is talking.  Hit 1 Looking out the windshield and hit 2 looking over at the driver.

Hit man 1:  It’s not about killing him, it’s about the message. 

Hit man 2:  Yea..I know.

Panel 3.  Looking at hit 2 through passenger window.  You can see hit 1 still staring out the windshield emotionless.  Hit 2 is kinda in a daze, now looking forward.

Hit man 2:  Jus, this is my last job…

Hit man 1:  Farretti told me.

Hit man 1:  By the way, we have one more stop before we’re done.

Panel 4.  Both staring out the windshield again and both calm.  Looking from the back seat toward the windshield you see both hit men still looking out the front.  Hit one talking.

Hit man 2:  Let me out.

Hit man 1:  Can’t do that.

Panel 5.  Very small panel of the locking mechanism of the door going down and the sound effect stretched around it.


Panel 6.  Hit 2 has a gun out motioning to himself with it and his free hand.  He is emotional and erratic.  Hit 1 interrupts hit 2.

Hit man 2:  Let me out James!

Hit man 2:  Is this job more important than me?!

Hit man 2:  Does it mean–

Hit man 1:  How long have we been partners?

PAGE THREE(six panels)

Panel 1.  Close up hit 1, still calm and talking.

Hit man 1:  What?  Six years now?

Off Panel:  Yeah…

Panel 2.  Medium shot of Hit 1 with one hand on the wheel other hand on the back of Hit 2’s head being smashed face first into the dashboard.  Hit 1 is angry and yelling as he does it.  Hit 2’s glasses fly off his face as blood spews from his mouth and nose.  He has both hands on the dash trying to stop himself from colliding.  

Hit 1:  Then you should know better by now!!!


Panel 3.  Wide shot of the Hit men and their captive.  Hit 2’s bloody hands over his bloody face.  Looking over slightly at the joint Hit 1 is handing to him.  Hit 1 is serious again talking with smoke rolling out of his mouth.  The Joint lit and the left bottom palm on the wheel with a zippo lighter in his index finger, middle finger and thumb.  The lighter is open and still lit.

Hit man 1:  This should take the edge off.

Panel 4.  Close up on the hooded captive in the back.  Motionless.

Hit man 1(off panel):  Surprised he slept through that.

Hit man 2(off panel):  How can you talk to me like you’re not about to kill me?

Panel 5.  Close up Hit 2, blood all over his mouth and nose.  The bridge of his nose is also split open.

Hit man 2:  Will you even miss me?

Off Panel:  Every day…

Panel 6.  Over the steering wheel out the front windshield out of the driver seat.  Hit 1’s hands tight on the steering wheel as a severed arm smashes into the windshield, blood explodes across the glass.


PAGE Four(six panels)

Panel 1.  Mother sitting on the side of the bed, one leg crossed under her with that ankle under the knee of her opposite leg hanging off the bed, in a comfortable looking evening gown with a laptop on the bed in front of her, also you see a camera plugged into the laptop.  In the background you can clearly see the father drying his face with a hand towel at the opposite side of the bed.

Mom: Check out the pictures.

Dad: I will be there in a minute…

Dad: …but first…

Panel 2.  The dad moves closer to the bed with a devious look on his face while holding up a joint.  The mom looks pleasantly surprised.

Dad: We’ve been good today, we’ve earned a treat.

Mom: You’re so bad!

Dad: So, yes?

Mom: That was a yes.  Now get over here naughty man.


Panel 3.  Dad is settling in next to the mom on the bed, as the mother continues to watch the computer screen.

Dad: I like that one.

Mom: Was that Kenneth?

Panel 4.  Mom is facing the father, and he looks quite a bit confused as he points at the laptop screen.  They are practically shoulder to shoulder now.

Dad: That’s your kid.

Mom: No, I mean, in the Dodson’s yard.  That was him, wasn’t it?

Dad: Pretty sure…

Mom: What was wrong with him?

Dad: Maybe, bath salts…

Panel 5 and Panel 6 are side by side, the dialog will originate from the designated speaker.

Panel 5. Close up on the mother, facing panel 5 to the right.

Panel 6. Close up on the father, facing panel 4 to the left.

1 P6 Dad: Probably lost his job. Between unemployment and flirting with bankruptcy, bet he couldn’t take it.

2 P5 Mom: We’ve known him for long time, I couldn’t see him falling apart like that.

3 P6 Dad: A person can only take so much of the world hammering down on them before they just come out a little warped.

4 P5 Mom: You going to share that treat?


PAGE FIVE (six panels)

Panel 1.  There is a small, one story, three apartment structure, in between a mixed neighborhood of two story and single story homes.  This will also be across the street from the the Johnson family residence.  A man, with a ball cap, a light jacket and also a lunch box, is walking up the side walk toward the center apartment in the structure.  The man looks as though he is 25-30 years old.

Panel 2.  The man is now inside the hallway of his apartment hanging up his hat behind the door on a mounted coat hook.  You can see his friend, similar in age, sitting on the couch in the living room, watching T.V. and smoking from a bong.

Friend: How was work?

Man: SSDD, Same shit, different day…

Panel 3.  The man is standing in the doorway to the living room as he talks to his friend who is still on the couch, gesturing to the man with the bong and lighter.

Friend: Well then, I guess it is the perfect day to light it up!

Man: Nah…I’ll just have a drink, thanks though.

Friend: No prob, bro, but the offer stands.

Panel 4.  View of the living room.  The friend is still on the couch watching T.V., while the man disappears into the hallway.

Man: You want anything out of the kitchen?

Panel 5.  Man is leaning into the refrigerator.  You see the front of the door and he is hunched over looking inside.  You can hear his friend coughing from the other room.

SFX: Hack-cough-hukk



Friend: Yeah, bro, grab the sour cream and onion chips!

Man: Alright.

Panel 6.  The man is startled by a scream, which causes him to drop his beer to the floor.

Scream: Aaaaaagggghhhhhhhh!!!!


PAGE SIX (six panels)

Panel 1.  The man rushes back to the living room doorway as the friend is standing and peeking out the blinds, bong still in hand.

Man: What was that?

Friend: It sounded like a woman…It came from outside.

Panel 2.  The man and his friend burst through the front door of their apartment, leaving it wide open.

Friend: This shit is really killing my buzz.

Man: Think about someone other than yourself, Shawn.  A woman is in troub…holy…mother…of…hell…

Panel 3.  Close up on the man looking left, his eyes are wide open and he looks absolutely mortified.

Man: …Shawn…

Panel 4.  Close up on the man looking right, still in terror.

Man: …I think it may be best if we go back inside…

Panel 5.  Close up on the man facing forward as horror continues to hold him.

Man: …Shawn…

Panel 6.  Wide shot of a completely blacked out panel.  I would like to see the dialog transition into a scream or a SFX style caption.

Man: Shawn…what are you….Aaaaagggghhhhhh!!!!

PAGE 7 (nine panels)

Panel 1.  Back to the Johnson family home once again.  We now focus on the eight year old girl Tiffany, who was awaken by the sounds coming from her parents room right next to hers.  She lies now awake in bed on her side gripping her teddy bear tight.

SFX: creeeeeeeek!

SFX: Thud!

Panel 2.  Tiffany sits up in bed and calls out for her parents, while hugging her teddy bear tight to her chest.

Tiffany: Mom…

Tiffany: dad…

Panel 3.  The young girl is walking down the hallway toward her parent’s room, as the odd noises continue.


Panel 4.  Tiffany pushes at her parent’s bedroom door.

Tiffany: Mom?

Panel 5.  There stands, in the middle of her parent’s bedroom, her mother in a tattered evening gown soaked with blood, covered with scratches and talking to herself.

Mom: I…

Mom: am…

Mom: hungry, so…


Mom: …hun…

Panel 6.  Her mother turns to face her daughter at the door.  The mother looks crazed, with her eyes red to the point of glowing, and foaming at the mouth.

Mom: …HUNGRY!!!

Panel 7.  Mom lunges at Tiffany as she slams the door in her mother’s face.

Mom: Errugggglrlrlrl!!!

Tiffany: MOM!!!

Panel 8.  Tiffany runs down the hallway toward the front door. She is still holding on to her teddy bear by one arm as she runs, huffing the whole way.

Caption: Huff

Panel 9.  She reaches the front door and grabs the door knob with her free hand, she is still out of breath.

Caption:           Huff

Caption:           Huff


PAGE EIGHT (one panel and one half of a splash image)

Panel 1.  This panel will be at the very top left of page EIGHT.  It depicts the girl, Tiffany, as she steps outside her front door to the most horrific scene she has ever bared whiteness.  Her face should convey the horror that would be running through this young girl’s brain.

Splash image.  The rest of the page will go as follows.  The left half of the back of Tiffany’s head (at the bottom right hand side of the page) looking out on the streets overran by, what look to be, rabid cannibalistic people, and all of their attention was on her.  It should also show Hit man 2 after exiting the vehicle and left his door open, gnawing on the severed arm, which came in contact with the windshield, but he is now looking at her.  Hit man 1 has left his door open and has dragged the captive out of the back seat and was eating him.  All of the cannibals’ eyes are glowing red, with their mouths foaming.

*Note: The splash image on page EIGHT should line up and match the second half on page NINE.

 PAGE NINE (one panel and the second half of the splash image)

Panel 1.  This panel belongs in the very bottom right hand corner of the page.  All that you see in this panel is, blood soaked, feet, with Tiffany’s teddy bear between them, and the bottom of a tattered evening gown(Tiffany’s mother’s feet).

Splash image.  The rest of the page will go as follows.  The right half of the back of Tiffany’s head (at the very bottom left hand side of the page) looking out at the streets overran by, what look to be, rabid cannibalistic people, and all of their attention is now on her.  On this half you will notice the little, one story, apartment building across the street.  You will also notice Shawn, who was currently devouring his roommate, has now set his sights on Tiffany.  All of the cannibals’ eyes are glowing red, with their mouths foaming.

*Note: The splash image on page EIGHT should line up and match the second half on page NINE.

 PAGE TEN (five panels)

Panel 1.  The setting is a dank and dingy basement, with no true ceiling, just rafters, pipes and ducts.  This panel is looking across the ceiling at the light bulb hanging in the center of the room.

Caption: Several towns over, a master investigator, aggressively hones his skills in the basement of Leon’s Liquor Store.

FF: …Tell me what I want to hear.

Panel 2.  A side view of Lieutenant Colonel Leon Wolfe’s legs as he descends the old wooden stairs to the basement.  Right now you see Leon’s combat boots, and camouflaged cargo pants.

FF: I guess I will just have to kick the ever loving shit out of you, and then…then I expect to hear the words.

Panel 3.  Profile view of the left side of FF sitting in a rickety chair as Leon walks behind him.  Leon is wearing his military issued camouflaged shirt which matches his pants.  FF is wearing a tank top with a button-up tourist style floral shirt, and light tan cargo shorts.  The button up is completely unbuttoned and hanging wide open.  FF is also wearing a ball gag that has a couple straps that holding it on his face. 

FF: I hope you are ready…

FF: cause.

FF: here.

FF: it.


Panel 4.  FF is now standing with both hands extended into the air with a video game controller in one hand, and a wireless headset in his right ear, as announces his victory toward the heavens.

FF: You are my dirty little girlfriend!!!

FF: Muhuhuhahaha!!!

Leon: You know, Frank, if you spent less time playing that damn X-Flop console, and focused on your training, maybe you wouldn’t get your teeth knocked out your ass in every conflict.

Panel 5.  FF still standing, now with his hands to his sides, and turned his head to face Leon.  The controller is still in hand.

FF: Firstly, video games increase my hand-eye coordination, and that grants me happy trigger fingers, which in turn makes dudes dead, and second…

FF: It’s Fuck Face.

Title: (FxxxFace title and Logo)


PAGE ELEVEN (five panels)

Panel 1.  Leon is handing a cell phone to FF, as he sits on the couch.

Leon: These photos were sent to me by my contact from Buddington Heights.

Leon: We have to figure out what happened and put a stop to it.

Panel 2.  Leon is standing in front of FF who is now sitting on the couch, looking through the photos on the phone.

FF: So…would you say that this particular job has a high likelihood of contact with sexy ladies?

Leon: Pretty good chance of that, as long as you don’t mind that those “sexy ladies” rip the flesh                            from your bones with their teeth.  

FF: Should be aroused?

Leon:                             What the hell is wrong with you?

Panel 3.  Close up on Leon’s face, he is putting pressure between his eyes with his index finger and thumb, in an attempt to relieve his headache.

Leon: Frank, we are looking at a potential zombie apocalypse here.  I wish you could take this a little more seriously.

Panel 4.  FF looks up from the cell phone, at Leon.

FF: I’m sorry, were you talking to me?   Didn’t hear my name.

Leon: You know, when it boils right down to it, you are the biggest fuck face I know.

FF: Damn right I am!

Panel 5. Close up on FF.

FF: Don’t worry, you can count on me, but first I have to see a mime about a horse…

PAGE TWELVE (six panels)

Panel 1.  In the home of Mimey, FF’s side kick, the walls of the home are covered in anti-clown propaganda.  Mimey, the extremely muscular mime, is punching on a weighted balloon punching bag clown toy.  FF is in the entry way watching him smacking around the clown toy.  Mimey is a very large man, tall and very muscular.  He is wearing a striped black and white tank top, black pants and also a black beret.  His face is also painted up like a mime.

FF: I guess it is safe to say, you still have an issue or two with clowns.

FF: You will probably hate them until the end of days; Which, evidently is on it’s way.

FF: And we are being contracted to stop it from coming.

Panel 2.  Mimey is still working the clown punching bag over.

FF: Understand, there can be no running around and telling all your mime buddies.

FF: This is an Area 51 level government hush-hush, and we can’t have you blabbing to the silent entertainment community.

Panel 3.  Mimey stands before FF, with his hands on his hips with a look of disapproval on his face.

FF: O.K., so that wasn’t funny…anyway we have to get going.  

Panel 4.  FF is headed toward a doorway off the side of the living room as Mimey positions himself in front of him in order to stop him.

FF: You can go get some essentials around while I slap a saddle on Penelope, then we can head out…

FF: What’s that, you forgot to feed her?  That’s fine. I’ll just give her a snack before we…

Panel 5.  Close up on FF, he is angry and shocked.

FF: You forgot to feed her for six months?!?  Why didn’t you call me???

FF: I am to blame here, I should have never left a living, breathing, animal, with someone who can’t even keep his voice alive…

FF: Not to mention the fact that it smells like rotten ass…She’s still in there isn’t she???

Panel 6.  Mimey is slunk over in shame as FF looks at him inquisitively.

FF: Mimey, my friend, you are one, disgustingly, lazy dude…

FF: So then…how do we get there?


PAGE THIRTEEN (five panels)

Panel 1.  FF and Mimey walk into a garage to see a 1976 purple Fiat two door, FF face palms himself in disbelief.

FF: A Fiat?!?

FF: So, you hate clowns, but you will drive their car?

FF: Do you bang all their clown wives too???

FF: How the hell do you expect to fit any gear in that thing?

Panel 2.  Close up on FF with one hand on his hip and the other hand extended out in a manner to suggest he is presenting the vehicle, with his head turned to talk shit to Mimey.

FF: It’s not that we have to leave a thing or two behind, we, literally, have no room to bring anything, not in that micro machine.

FF: Yeah, great fuel economy…right.

FF: Whatever you say closet clown.

Panel 3.  Mimey is down on his hands and knees head down sulking as FF continues to pick at him.

FF: Just start packing shit up, whatever won’t fit is left behind.

FF: …and get up off the floor.  Don’t you think that the crying mime act is a bit cliché?

Panel 4.  FF is now on the phone and Mimey is in the background carrying an invisible object that looks to be incredibly heavy.

FF: Mimey and I will be on the road in about twenty minutes.

FF: We took the job Leon, so consider it as good as done.

Panel 5.  Mimey is tightening an invisible rope to secure the invisible items to the roof top with one foot pressed against the side of the vehicle as he pulls it tight.

FF: Are you done yet?  

FF: Get in the car already…


PAGE FOURTEEN (six panels)

Panel 1.  The Fiat is now parked in front of Leon’s Liquor.  Dialog is off panel.

Off panel: How am I supposed to take you two seriously?

Panel 2.  FF shrugs and tries to explain what had brought them back.

FF: We just got a little lost that’s all.

Leon: Lost?  You are supposed to be top notch “fixers,” and you can’t even find the, god damn, job site!

Panel 3.  Close up on Leon’s face angry and yelling.

Leon: Jesus, boys, this is a high priority case and you two are bumbling around like a couple of idiots.

Panel 4.  FF and Mimey are in front of Leon, who is obviously still pissed off.

FF: To be fair, I was being fed directions by a mime.  It was like GPS charades…I always lose charades…

Leon:           Then why was he giving you directions?

FF:           Duh!  Because he is the navigator.

Leon: Since you two have proven your complete and total incompetence, I have taken the liberty to assign you a                             babysitter.

Panel 5.  The door swings open and in walks a very attractive, and exotic, young woman, wearing knee high combat boots, cargo pants, and a light jacket that matches her pants.

Leon: Gentlemen, this is my daughter, Gabriella.

PAGE FIFTEEN (six panels)

Panel 1.  Gabriella is now standing next to Leon as FF approaches her and kisses her on the hand.  Her face expresses disgust as he does so.

FF: Why hello you pretty little thing, my name is Fuck Face, but you may call me daddy.

Leon: I know he is vile, Gabby, but you’ll get used to him.

Panel 2.  Gabby is looking up at Mimey in awe, FF is hunched over and in shock as Gabby pulled her hand from his. Mimey flexing his muscles like a professional body builder.

Gabby: Look at this mountain of a mime…

Panel 3.  Mimey in a different position still flexing, and FF is standing behind Gabby, and he is still sulking.

Gabby: …muscle upon rippling muscle…

FF: Steroids…

Panel 4.  FF is standing in front of Gabby now.  Hands waving in front of her face trying to get her attention.  Gabby looks unimpressed.

FF: Ya know, I took steroids once, purely to decrease the size of my enormous–

Interrupt FF, Off Panel: Enough of this pointless banter.

Panel 5.  Gabby has returned to her father’s side.  Leon is a little irritated as he speaks.

Leon: I expect completion within the week.

Leon: …And Gabriella will ensure that you get it done.

Panel 6.  Close up on Leon’s face, he has a rather stern look.

Leon: Good Luck.


PAGE SIXTEEN (six panels)

Panel 1.  At the very edge of town the Fiat comes across a blockade, that brings them to a stop.  FF and Gabby are inside the Fiat, and Mimey is on the roof of the vehicle.  Mimey is sitting on his butt with his knees to his chest as he holds himself on top of the car by the frames of the doors on either side.

Gabby: Guess we are on foot from here…

FF: Says everyone, ever killed in a horror film.

Panel 2.  The group have exited the vehicle, and are gearing up.  Gabby has a sniper rifle slung over her shoulder.

FF: WTF?!?

FF: You sure you can handle that, girly?

Gabby: Shut your mouth and listen up, dip shit…

Panel 3. Close up on Gabby pointing to the rooftops.

Gabby: …I am going to find the highest point in town to cover you and your handsome friend here…

Panel 4.  FF stands there looking around as Mimey is stuck behind an invisible wall.

Gabby: Look around, find out what you can and we will meet back up in an hour.

FF: Yes sir, Captain Pissy pants!

Panel 5.  Gabby is now in a face to face stare down with FF.  She looks angry and he is looks amused. 

Gabby: I do not appreciate your childish antics…

FF: Is it difficult to be this close to me without a feel-ski?

Panel 6.  Gabby gut checks FF with the butt of her rifle.

FF: I bet it is diff…uhhnff…

Gabby: Get to work, and be back in an hour.

FF: …icult…


PAGE SEVENTEEN (six panels)

Panel 1.  FF and Mimey are walking down the side walk of a strip mall.  There are little shops and stores side by side down each side of the street.  As FF talks he is interrupted by strange sounds.  FF has two guns holstered and strapped to his sides under his open button-up shirt.

FF: I can’t believe she hit me either.

FF: If she thought that was bad, she should see me on Tequila Tuesday. Huh…

FF: Did you hear that?  quiet down you mime freak, and listen…

Panel 2.  They are crouched down as FF waves to Mimey to follow him, and traced the odd sounds to a wooden fence between a couple of stores.

FF: It’s coming from over here. It sounds like growling.

FF: Stay down, and keep close.

Panel 3.  Mimey and FF hang on to the top of the fence as they look over to see a parking lot, at the bottom of a hill, overflowing with zombie-esk looking people.

FF: Hol—y Bajeezus!  He wasn’t kidding when he said zombies.

Panel 4.  As the two continue to hang on to the fence Mimey hangs his head in shame as FF faces him.

FF: And don’t think I didn’t hear that.  You outta be ashamed.


Panel 5.  The fence gives in and falls forward sending them, struggling to hold on, into the parking lot.

FF: What the Fu—uuaaaghhhhh!!!

Panel 6.  The two smash through the horde of cannibals like bowling pins while sliding in on the fence.

PAGE EIGHTEEN (nine panels)

Panel 1.  FF and Mimey rise from the fence as it rests on a mound of flesh eaters.  In the background you can see the hill with stairs climbing all the way up to the back of the stores from the strip mall.  FF is holding a .22 caliber pistol and Mimey is using his index finger and his thumb in the shape of a gun.

FF: This is your fault, you freaky ass kinda-clown!

Panel 2.  FF and Mimey are back to back as Gabby is on a rooftop behind them sniping down on the masses.

Gabby yells down: Looks like you boys could use some help!!

FF: Nah…This isn’t the first time I faced a meat hungry populous.

Panel 3.  Mimey and FF jump off opposite sides of the fence, guns blazing.  



FF: Hell yeah!  Enjoy your died!

FF: Clear out as many as you can.  We have to fight our way through.

Panel 4.  A shot of Mimey, still firing, salutes FF while, in the background, Gabby jumps from one rooftop to another.

Gabby: Consider them dead!

Panel 5.  FF is firing wildly into the horde of cannibals.


Panel 6.  A cannibal has snuck up behind FF and is about to sink his teeth into FF’s neck, but he notices the man eater.

Panel 7.  FF quickly turns and puts the barrel of his pistol into the cannibal’s mouth as it bites down on the gun.  At that moment Gabby has fired at that specific cannibal hitting it in the neck, decapitating it.

SFX(gun in mouth): KTTCHICT


Panel 8.  A man eater has its left arm extended over Mimey’s right arm as he has a hold of the cannibal’s neck.  Mimey’s left hand is around the cannibal’s right wrist as he fights it off.

FF: Hold ‘em still, Mimey!

Panel 9.  FF shoots the cannibal, which is assaulting Mimey, in the head, through the head that is still on the end of his pistol.  Both heads explode.


PAGE NINETEEN (five panels)

Panel 1.  Mimey is covered in grey matter, as FF points in his direction laughing.  Gabby set up on a roof top behind the two.

FF: Ah-ha hooo, please tell me somebody saw that.

Gabby: Shut up! You should be focusing on getting the hell out of there!

Panel 2.  FF kicks a cannibal right in the chest, placing the sole of the shoe flat on its chest.

FF: That is a valid…

FF: Point!

Panel 3.  The cannibal that FF kicked to the ground, is now pinned under FF’s foot which is right on its chest.  FF swings back and pistol whips another cannibal in the face.

FF: However, may the record show that I shot a dude in the head through another dude’s head.

Panel 4.  FF shoots both cannibals in the head.



Panel 5.  FF looks over at Mimey who is now twirling an invisible lasso over his head.

FF: Really??  Fighting zombies and you opt for a lasso.

Gabby: Fuck Face, on your six!

PAGE TWENTY (four panels)

Panel 1.  FF is facing a cannibal that is standing on top of a car.  He has his fire arm pointed at the man eater.



FF: All joking aside, I’m up shit creak and I’m fresh out of paddles.


Panel 2.  The cannibal lunges toward FF as he turns away looking for help.


Panel 3.  The cannibal’s elbows are tightly pinned to its sides, as if it had something wrapped around him.  Mimey, in the background, has the end of what appears to be an invisible rope.

Panel 4.  Mimey is swinging the cannibal in circles using it as a wrecking ball to hit other cannibals.  FF watches on in total awe.


SFX: Kapow!,  Smack!, Whopp!

FF: Didn’t see that coming.

PAGE TWENTY-ONE(six panels)

Panel 1.  Gabby is now standing up with the but of her rifle resting on her hip and the barrel in the air as she is yelling at FF and Mimey, and pointing at toward the rear entrance to the strip mall.

Gabby: Survivor!!

Panel 2.  Show a glimpse of someone entering a store from the employee entrance in the back of the store, “The Mad Batter.”

FF: Mimey…

FF: That’s our cue. 

Panel 3.  Mimey tugs FF backwards by his shirt collar.

FF: Just remember to bring ’em back ali–

Panel 4.  Mimey uses FF as a melee weapon to swat away the cannibals that are near them.

FF: Put…

FF: Me…


Panel 5.  Mimey shoves FF feet first in a diagonal motion, leaving him with his arms pinned down to his sides, and his body completely straight, with his face angled toward the rooftops toward the direction of the survivor. 

FF: Don’t you dare!

Panel 6.  Mimey is lighting an invisible fuse at FF’s feet.

FF: You don’t have the…

PAGE TWENTY-TWO(six panels)

Panel 1.  FF is sent rocketing through the air over the side of the store.  It looks like he will land on the roof.  Have the dialog take the place of the sfx of him traveling through the air.


FF: Nice aim, dead eye!

Panel 2.  FF has fallen through a skylight onto a table stocked with shirts.  There are six cannibals around the front of the store with FF, all wearing the blue, V-neck, employee T-shirt.  There is one mannequin on each side of his head and an empty 50 gallon bucket on the floor to the left of the table.

FF: That, actually, was a pretty good shot…

Panel 3.  FF looks to his right and sees a man-eater.

FF: For Christ-sakes! Give me a break!

Panel 4.  FF pushes the mannequin on the right into the cannibal on that side as he rolls off the table on the other side.

Cannibal: eehhhhrrhh–

SFX: Crack! 

FF: It would be nice if I had the means to defend myself.

Panel 5.  FF lands on his knees with one hand just over the top of the empty 50 gallon bucket, eye level with a sign that reads, “Baseball Bats 15% Off!”  He looks disappointed.

FF: It would be empty…

Panel 6.  FF puts the bucket over the head of the closest  cannibal, and proceeds to kick the bucketed man-eater into the rest of them.

FF: There has to be something around here…


Panel 1.  FF is running down the isle ways looking around.

FF: Think…Fuck Face…

FF: Come on…think…

Panel 2.  FF stopped at the end of an isle way.  He looks pretty pleased with himself.

FF: Now we’re talking…

Panel 3.  The cannibals are back up and stumbling around the store, you do not see FF here.

Cannibal: eehhhhhh…

Panel 4.  One cannibal turns a corner to an isle way where FF is staring at him with a baseball pulled back in a jockstrap as though it were a slingshot, and a gym bag full of baseballs slung over his shoulder.

Cannibal: ehhrruuhh…

FF: Me thinks it a bit odd that the jockstraps are right next to the balls…

FF: But now’s not the time to criticize.


Panel 5.  FF lets the baseball go as it cracks the cannibal in the face, knocking its head back.


Panel 6.  The cannibal is out cold at FF’s feet.

FF: This seems efficient.

PAGE TWENTY-FOUR(seven panels)

Panel 1.  FF dives into the open, out of the isle, firing baseball into the face of another cannibal.

SFX: Thud!

FF: Say, ahhh!

Panel 2.  Show three cannibals all being pelted over and over again, being struck numerous times and flinching.

SFX: Thwut!, Crack!, Whack!

Panel 3.  FF standing over the twitching cannibals as he looks around.

FF: There should be…one…more…

Panel 4.  FF looks down on the cannibal that had the 50 gallon bucket on its head.  It was just wriggling around on the floor trapped in the bucket.

FF: Here we are.

FF: Man, they are not very bright.

Panel 5.  The cannibal is in the foreground, now upside-down in the 50 gallon bucket that is now upright, as FF walks toward the back of the store, in the background.

Panel 6.  As FF makes his way behind the service counter he notices the doorknob on the storage closet jiggling.


FF: Hello??

Panel 7.  Small panel as FF reaches out for the doorknob, which is still jiggling.


FF: I’m here to help…

PAGE TWENTY-FIVE (nine panels)

Panel 1.  The door bursts open and one of the man eaters knocked FF to the ground and landed on top of him.  FF has his forearm pressed to the creature’s throat trying to fend him off.



Panel 2.  Profile shot close up to the cannibal’s face as he snaps at FF’s face.



Panel 3.  FF reaches out and grabs an ice skate off the floor near him as he continues to fight off the zombie that is still atop him.


Panel 4.  FF shoves the blade of the ice skate into the creature’s mouth shattering its teeth and slicing the corners of the zombie’s mouth.

Panel 5.  The monster sits up and screams in agonizing pain, FF is still holding the skate.

Canibal:                               Raaaaaaggggghhhh!!

Panel 6.  FF slams the blade of the ice skate right in between its eyes.


Panel 7.  FF is now leaning on the inside of the service desk as he sits on the floor trying to recover from his scuffle.  You can see someone’s feet just above FF’s head as they are standing on the service counter.

Anonymous: Lights out Fuck Face!

Panel 8.  FF stands up and turns around as he asks his question just to be interrupted by a baseball bat to the side of the head.  You still do not get a good look at the anonymous man.  I would like to see the dialog transition into the sound effect of this panel.

FF and SFX: How do you kno—CRACK!!!

Panel 9.  FF is flat on his face on the floor at the man’s feet.

PAGE TWENTY-SIX(splash image)

Splash image.  A silhouette of 10-15 people standing with a bright light behind them.  The one in the middle has a baseball bat over their shoulder.  And you are looking up from FF’s point of view laying on the floor.

Caption: To be continued…

Utopia Bound 8/11/20

We have a big news week this week! So we will go down that rabbit hole once we get there, but first an apology. Last week I had quite a bit going on and I announced that there would be no update for said week. As of this week, I have quite a bit to announce, but again I find myself short on time, I must soldier on!

First things first, Eric of JenEricLive is pursuing a job of full-time graphic artist. This puts him in the brackets with a great many full-time content creators, and between the two of them, Jen and Eric are truly fantastic! Please show them the support they deserve, and they will give you the content you deserve, in return.

JenEricLive is not the only brand looking to the future. Both NitroPunk and Forice have made another tremendous leap to a new platform. Everyone is looking to the future, and to the both of them, that means YouTube! Whichever way you march, they are marchin’ on over to YT.

After talking to Forice and NitroPunk, it seems just natural. The close on Mixer last month was a blindside for everyone invested, and a lot of people jumped to the next comfortable platform, as a means to steady ground to figure out the next move. So here we are the next move, at least for these two. YouTube is receiving some great content.

Forice YT

NitroPunk YT

Speaking of great YouTube content, we have a couple more announcements to hit you with! We added two more YouTube channels to the Nontoxic listing, as well as adding a Food and Fitness team to the Utopia Bound list of creators!

First up is our health team Cherko and Elili working to help us get healthy so we can pump out as much incredible creators for as long as possible. So with their new YouTube content Cherko and Family, they are branching out to help gamers become healthier, and thus granting more energized, entertainment for viewers.

Next is some of the most beautiful content I have ever seen. InfnitBlsing is just what the title provides, a seemingly infinite blessing of attractive gourmet dishes. A professional level cook with the passion to teach, this guy really has something to offer! Gaze upon his Video Menu and learn a many great ways to improve your culinary game.

We are currently working on a variety of programs and/or ideas to further Utopia Bound and our community. We too are looking to the future, hoping that we can both help others meet their content creation goals, as well as leading as an example for those who are out there, thinking that there is only one way to be or act.

Just remember…

Be kind and stay fantastic,


Halo Infinite Battle Royale

It has been talked about and ridiculed up to the Halo Infinite gameplay reveal at the Xbox Showcase this year. Many believe that 343i should stay away from the BR genre, while others would like them to embrace the same reasoning that pushed other 4v4-6v6 shooters to the intense war zones we have now.

Whether you want the Halo BR to remain a 3-round burst rifle or become the real “Combat Evolved” version of the franchise, I’ll bring you what to expect out of a full on Spartan Battle Royale…


First things first, where would this type of battle take place? Why not a destabilized fracture of a Halo ring? Using this would allow for a verity of detail within the fractured installation. Forerunner structures, covenant and human outposts, and even flood remnants and weapons and vehicles to match. As well as enabling iconic settings to the franchise, this would also add to one of the main features to the standard battle royale… restoration.


As in Halo CE, Spartans will return to the requirement of using med kits. Now because of the ring destabilization, the Spartan shield recovery is limited. Shield can only be charged with a “charge stabilizer.” Both types available in two sizes.

A lot of thought went into making this concept both comparable yet different from other standing titles in the genre. With the customization landmarks set from Halo Reach to Guardians, the rest of the game dynamics are set.


Visual customization a cross of Reach and H5. From the helmet, individual shoulders, arms, chest, legs, feet, and accessory, making for incredibly unique Spartans throughout the battlefield.


Before you drop to the fracture in the ODST drop pod, pre-select a loadout that best suites your play style. Each Spartan would have these set attributes to stock, starting weapon, armor ability, tactical ability, and Armor mod.

Starting Weapon– pistol, plasma pistol, AR, Plasma Rifle, Mauler, or Spiker.

Armor Ability– jet pack, thruster pack(H5), armor lock, decoy, promethean vision, promethean turret.

Tactical Ability– power drain, bubble shield, regen, flare, tripmine, and motion sensor.

Armor Mod– active camo, overshield, invulnerability, EMP, and munitions drop.

If you didn’t hear, 343i Announced there will be no battle royale, and if you hadn’t realized by now these are just my ideas how to make one work, and by no means have anything to do with 343 or their work.

If anyone has any other ideas, thoughts or input, feel free to hit me up on twitter @SatisJaxon.

Be kind folks, stay fantastic, and keep safe,


Utopia Bound 7/27/20

This week I’m excited to announce that we at Utopia Bound are driving a force in a healthy direction. It’s well known that healthy eating habits and exercise can battle depression and anxiety. It’s because of this I’m happy to welcome CherkoTTV and EliliGill as the face of Utopia’s health movement.

These two are actually physical education teachers as well as interactive streamers. Once on mixer, now creating content for Twitch. These two are truly inspiring, we can’t wait to see the ways they can help us stay healthy, in body and mind.

On another note of change, a member of the great content team known as JenEricLive, Eric to be specific, has left his job and is currently pursuing a full time graphic design gig! You can find his info through the link above, and commissions are open people!!! You don’t want to miss out on such a creative mind. From immaculate props to beautiful profile art, and tying his better half to bring us the live content as well, you really have to shoot them a follow!

A lot of things are changing in the world right now, and a lot of them for the better, this includes Utopia. We have already announced our Twitter, Merch and Twitch profiles that went live a couple weeks ago, and we’d like to delve a little deeper into what we are doing with each.

Utopia on Twitter:

We thought this would be a really cool tool for a different kind of stream. The Utopia Bound official Twitter handle is a current of going live links and content uploads to YouTube. It makes for a very simple way to navigate nontoxic content across twitch and YouTube combined, as well as the ability to rapidly share content links without having to jump to different creator pages.

Utopia on Twitch:

Here is something original;D not really… As of right now our Twitch channel is just hosting streams, but we are working toward a podcast soon…

Utopia Merch:

All the profit from merch, subs, bits, and/or donations will go directly into Utopia Bound’s community or in support of other small streamers. Be it donations, bits, or giveaways, we plan to leave all income within the name that is Utopia.

Our primary focus is being a reliable source of content. Let’s work together to help others, and make a community to be proud of.

Remember to be kind, stay fantastic, and safe,


Utopia Bound 7-20-20

So we do not have a lot of announcements as of the last week, but we do have some exciting news to come later this week. A majority of the content creators shared on Utopia Bound are fans of Xbox or Microsoft. Later this week, we will, finally, get to know more about Halo Infinite, as well as the official launch date and price of the much anticipated Xbox Series X. I don’t have much information on either but I am excited for the announcements.

We do have a little info on one of the Selected from Utopia Bound. One of our own made Affiliate on twitch this past week, so let’s give a shout out to Grizzly 1991! This dude is fun, friendly, and engaging, so go give him some love!

That’s all she wrote for now,

Be kind, and stay fantastic,


Utopia Bound 7/13/20

(Image by TinkoRoboto)

This is week two of the first real push for the Utopia Bound community! I can tell you we have been working hard trying to push this group to its limits to best benefit the content creators in house and anyone else who happens by.

First and foremost I want to explain what exactly we want to accomplish. After that, we have several new features activated and a couple of features that are in the works and have yet to be completed.

Utopia Bound is an attempt at providing reliable nontoxic content to people. This content comes in a variety of ways.

Types of Content Creators:

Artists– We have a handful of professional and published illustrators and comic book artists.

Musician– If you ever wanted your very own private beat or piece of music to use on your channel, we have just the guy to introduce you to.

Support– There are many forms of content support here. From advice to tech support, from video editing coaching to discord professional help, from game suggestions to PC build suggestions. We are stocked to help perfect your craft.

Guaranteed Content– This is a generalization of the overall mission but also there is a list of guaranteed nontoxic streamers to watch. Their profiles are small but we have included links to social media as well.

Tools– there are links for a handful of bots utilized by streamers available, with experienced input on efficiency of said tools.

So far we have been stockpiling content creators and services for content creators. What’s different now? We are pushing into a full force. Over the next couple weeks we will be implementing procedures to better advertise our current creators.

Moving Forward:

Twitch Channel- Utilizing our Utopia Bound Channel on Twitch, will allow us to do a couple of things. Firstly we can auto host everyone guaranteed to be non-toxic, but we are also looking into a podcast covering content creation across platforms, gaming, and tech.

Twitter account- The Twitter account is already in full effect. When one of the guaranteed content creators, be it Twitch or YouTube at this point, go live or post a video it automatically tweets it live from the official account.

Merch Page- The merch page was started and there was a conflict with the art so it may be a while before the merch page is live. Any and all income/profits, from the merch store or donations, will be turned directly back into Utopia Bound.

YouTube- YouTube has potential for a community such as this. We can share videos of events, achievements, and even announcements.

Schedules- We also look to adding stream schedules into the profiles on the discord server. Already in the profile is the average rating, most common content, and social media links.

Before we go and because I forgot it in the last write up, we have some announcements! As most of you know, Mixer is shutting down. With that in mind, there were so many Mixer Partners who lost all of their progress and work and had to start over, but with all the experience they have been moving up the ranks quickly. Let’s take a moment to highlight a few people.

CherkoTTV has made affiliate what I’ve heard. Now Cherko wasn’t actually a Mixer Partner, but this guys definitely deserved the title. From a dedicated stream schedule to the levels of dedication to the viewers, he is fun and entertaining to be around, and I for one am glad that he gets to share the same benefits on twitch as the other streamers of his caliber.

JenEricLive is actually a duo, Jen and Eric pulled me in with a Cosplay stream. Their dedication to prop making, and overall characters, it’s no wonder that with so little time on Twitch, they hit affiliate and passed the 100 sub mark! Absolutely incredible!

Lastly on the YouTube front, Electric Spark has numerous videos ready for upload, all pre-streamed content, of the four of these dudes speed running vintage video games. Also on YouTube we are looking forward to the next Video from our friend GoKu DBZ coming soon, so keep an eye out!

To keep track of what’s to come please shoot us a follow here, and on the Utopia Bound Twitter handle, that will be listed below. Expect video updates and going live links for everyone included in the guaranteed streamer section of the discord server.




That’s all for now kids, but remember,

Be kind, and stay fantastic,


Utopia Bound 7/6/2020

As of the last few weeks I have been in discussions with the streamers and the admins of Utopia Bound, and I have come to the conclusion that this group definitely has potential and deserves to be public.

There will be a more prevalent drive forward. For this I have the following features to add to Utopia Bound:

-Utopia Bound merch store

-Streamer schedules

-Streamer/Gamer/Nerd talk Podcast

-Announcements for achievements and upcoming events for Utopia’s Selected

As far as implementation, that’s all down to convenience. Schedules and announcements/newsletter should be updated shortly, and the podcast may be a YouTube series, either way expected to start sometime within the next two months.

Lastly any money earned via merch or donation will go directly into Utopia Bound to better and benefit our growing community, be it for tourneys or for random donations to support Nontoxic streamers outside said community.

Myself and several other admins are excited for these advancements and hope to be of some help!

Stop by for help with content. Art, music, tech and game support as well as video editing!

Utopia Bound Discord Server

Thanks folks,

Be kind, stay fantastic,


Pot, Gaming, and Heroin

I bet you are wondering where I’m going with this. While we will be discussing the above title, this article is dedicated to my streamer and artists brothers and sisters who struggle with depression and anxiety on a daily basis.

Many people look at what I have and they don’t understand why I am at war with depression and anxiety. I have the love of my life, fooled her into marrying me and have three beautiful, and intelligent kids, “So what’s this guy have to be depressed about?” That’s the thing, kids, you don’t get a say in feelings. If you had a choice in your emotions, they would then, in fact, be referred to as options.

It isn’t really necessary for me to get into what makes me, ME, but I’m going to. What I am about to share with you is embarrassing to me, and I am very sensitive about this. No one aside my wife really understands the magnitude of issues, because she has been here with me through all of the “factors.”

To really know me, my name is Jeremy, I am 32 years old and I was raised in a household below poverty level. It was actually my whole drive behind my work ethic, well that and the inconsistency from my parents. My parents weren’t around, actually I spent a lot of time completely alone, which is where I honed my skills as an artist.

My mother and father were never together, at least not within my memory. My father married elsewhere and while I visited I didn’t really get to see him. He spent too much time at work trying to afford the new wife and kids, my step-siblings were actually ok, so that wasn’t terrible, but I also didnt get to live with them. Not at first. No that took an underage at 14, before the custody change.

My life revolved around partying and alcohol when I was still in elementary school. My mother had a hard time holding a job, and would have ppl over to hang out “smoke” and drink. If I’m completely honest, it wasn’t until later I realized what they were smoking, but it explained why she was always shut up in her room. She didn’t want us to know. Now I say us, because I am one of four boys.

My brothers didn’t really live with us. I was quiet and never got in trouble, until the afore mentioned underage, but I didn’t get caught or in trouble often. My brothers on the other hand were kinda heathens. Since she couldn’t handle them full time, they were shipped off to their dads. We didn’t have the same dads. My older bro and the one just under me share a dad, but my youngest has his own as do I. So sometimes she would be shut away from us, but other time I was just shut away. To this day I still struggle to carry a normal conversation with other human beings, but cut me some slack, I haven’t much practice.

Due to the lack of work, and amount of partying, we didn’t get to stay in a house long. Even got moved into a drug dealers house. We moved fairly often, and it was hard to make friends. Not to mention, sometimes it led to bare cupboards. Just how it was.

We had a couple of male “role models” in our lives. The first I can remember was a raging alcoholic. Never hit us boys but he’d beat the crap out of mom from time to time, but having said that, I have flash memories of her getting beat up by my youngest brothers dad too. It wasn’t in common for those two guys to take myself and or my brothers on drug runs. Don’t worry, we never went inside. They’d just leave us in the car for an hour or so. It wasn’t until much later that I realized what that was. Sitting there really wasn’t much different from every other day, I mean I was still, usually, alone, but at least I had something different to look at.

First time I tried alcohol I was 5 years old and I hated it. I didn’t start drinking until I was 12 or 13, which is also the time I started smoking marijuana. I drank a lot, probably because my “step-dads” bought a lot of alcohol, a lot of times for mom, who preferred pot, so us boys would drink hers and the alcoholic would just replace it and no one ever noticed. Even when we’d refill the vodka with water, no one seemed to catch on.

By the time I hit 8th grade I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, smoked weed every time mom left, and drank bi-weekly, and nobody was the wiser. Of course by eighth grade we were getting drinks from my moms friends. She would act upset about it, but still let it happen. Just a shame really.

My first and only underage was actually cigarettes. An undercover cruiser stopped a few friends and I. We got a court summons, and though we were all busted, apparently I was the one who had to pay. Had a fine and no one was going to pay it for me, I had to get a job, which wasn’t a bad thing really, helped change my characteristics the long haul. That’s how I ended up at dads.

The next four years at my dads wasn’t bad. I wasn’t alone anymore really, I get along well with the step-brother he’s a good dude for sure, he’s probably the biggest reason I am so heavy into gaming so for that I am grateful.

Outside of high school is where things really started to pick up. I have three brothers, over the span of ten years, all three of them ended up on heroin. To this day all three are clean. Two of them struggle, but one is in prison, but only after a botched drug deal and he was violently stabbed almost to death, and my other brother who tends to destroy property, and he found himself in and out of jail as well.

My brother just younger than me, has been clean for around three years and I am very proud. He got married, got custody of his daughter who lived with a sociopath.

My older brother, the one in prison still doesn’t get to see his kids. One who lives a thousand miles away and the other who’s mom and step-dad who just went to jail for child abuse/endangerment/neglect.

My life has been an interesting one, I’m not good with people, but I want to be. I don’t drink, or smoke(anything) anymore. I want to be the opposite of everything I was hurt by. I want to help others, especially those who fight the same battle as I do day to day.

If you feel low, find someone to talk to. I’ll even talk shoot me a message. Take care of yourselves, be considerate and take care of each other.


Be kind and stay fantastic,


The Duke Returns!

I know how the title sounds, but we are not talking about the Western legend, John Wayne, no. The launch of the original Xbox back in November of 2001, the first grasp of the Microsoft gaming world was a chunk, to say the least. The first controller was a honking beast of an analog monstrosity, and I loved it. Eventually known as the “Duke” it gained a fan following, enough so that we are seeing the reappearance, reproduced by Hyperkin, two generations later with the Xbox one.

Duke launch trailer

Now this is a fairly late article to be clear, but I finally talked myself into the purchase, and I am so glad I did! As I played the several test games, it was a learning curve to get back into the feel and comfort of that hefty piece of tech, with a sweet throwback animation built into the controller.

The differences between the XBone controller and the Duke is great. From the button layout, though the recent rendition is sporting the bumpers which the original lacked, to the one full pound of extra weight on the Duke.

To be completely honest, the release of the Duke eluded me. I remembered the announcement, but then there was nothing. No more advertising, just a release down the line and I was oblivious to its obtainability. It wasn’t until my long time friend, no my brother in-gaming-arms Lupes, took a break from building some top tier gundams, to flaunt the translucent green Duke. I needed one NOW! So that’s just what I did, ran out, or rather twiddled the ol’ thumbs on over to Amazon to snag me up the beautiful translucent red slab of thumb stick heaven.

While I could only find the black, green, and red, I found an image of available colors from the Microsoft certified Makers of the controller, Hyperkin.

I have never been happier with the controller. So far all of the buttons and thumb sticks are more responsive than my Official Xbox controller. On top of the responsiveness, I have noticed better audio quality from my headset as well. I don’t know why or even if it’s just in my head, but the hype is real. And so far the tech is spectacular. If you were a fan of the Duke, then it’s worth the buy. It would take some time to get used to it, but after about four games of Apex Legends, I’m right back in the game.

remember, friends, to stay safe,

And as always, be kind and stay fantastic,


Photo References:




And yours truly;D